Research from the Census Bureau shows that as of 2019, only 14.9 unions ended in divorce for every 1,000 marriages.
No one enters a marriage thinking of its dissolution. However, life’s circumstances can lead to an eventual split due to various factors. Here’s a look at six reasons to get a divorce that many people encounter.
- Financial Tussles
Money is a vital part of modern-day living that touches every aspect of a couple’s lives. No matter how much of it you have or don’t have, it can wreak havoc in a marriage if unchecked.
Since each spouse walks into the marriage with certain assets, it’s easy to muddy the waters on who owns what. While each couple approaches asset possession differently, it’s the ownership issue that tends to kick up more dust over time.
Not talking through fallback options should one person lose their source of income often kicks the can down the road. As The Law Offices of Eric Posmantier.
notes, a substantial change in a couple’s financial makeup can impact eventual divorce proceedings.
Once that eventuality happens, financial tensions can begin undermining a marriage.
Another critical financial factor that can split couples is debt. Seeing that most people walk to the altar with some form of debt, it’s helpful to take it over and develop a mutually agreed on game plan to handle it.
But, some spouses may hide their debt or be uncooperative, which only comes back to bite the marriage.
In 41 states, common law dictates that the debt a couple incurs after marriage belongs to each of them. On the other hand, nine states allow for all debts to be shared among spouses regardless of whether there is a joint or individual operating agreement in place.
When you add the personality mix into this powder keg, it’s unsurprising that the explosion is fatal for many couples.
- Communication Breakdown
According to many family relationship experts, one of the signs you need a divorce may be due to an irredeemable breakdown in marital communication. Time and time again, many couples underestimate just how much communication can impact their union.
Without proper communication, spouses won’t understand each other. If this keeps happening, it can lead to frustration and resentment, which quickly choke out marriages.
With the fall in communication comes the inevitable difficulty of handling problematic matters. Any attempt at communication in such circumstances is likely to lead to not fighting fair, which only exacerbates the issue.
In no time, a couple that can’t communicate will drift apart and find solace elsewhere. And what was an in-house communication problem gives birth to fidelity issues.
Communication is so critical that divorce proceedings will include mediation as prescribed by law to see if a couple can split amicably.
- Lack of Intimacy
Sex is the tender language couples use to whisper to each other’s souls and enrich their union. If anything interferes with a couple’s sex life, it’s bound to cause problems in the larger relationship as well.
When a spouse chooses to wield sex in a carrot and stick type format, it creates resentment and feelings of inequality. Such a pattern soon leads to feelings of bruised self-worth that are often difficult to come back from.
For other couples, the path to divorce stems from a sexless marriage. Partners who go for long periods without having sex disconnect emotionally from the marriage, and it’s easy to see how that leads to a split.
However, the insidious thing is that intimacy goes beyond sex. Without nurturing that closeness between two married people, a spouse can start feeling like they live with a stranger.
From there, it’s a downward spiral to fulfillment in another person’s arms for validation and closeness.
Intimacy in all its forms can be adversely impacted by the life stage a couple is in. That’s at a joint and individual level. If a couple doesn’t have robust communication, it typically tends to worsen the situation.
- A Sense of Inequality
Every married couple comes into the marriage with an understanding of equality and team effort. The problem arises when these differing worldviews on the issue don’t come to a consensus.
No matter how the issue presents itself, a feeling of inequality opens the door to resentment. From there, resentment grows into anger, even bitterness, as one party feels they are treated as inferior.
As with any human being experiencing other people minimizing their worth, walking out becomes a viable option. At times a feeling of inequality breaks down the trust a married couple shares, contributing to their eventual divorce.
- Unrealistic Expectations
Disappointment due to unmet expectations is a fundamental reason for many divorces. While some expectations can be reasonable, often, newlyweds start their marital journey with unrealistic expectations.
As the other spouse fails to meet these expectations, disappointment enters the picture. The more instances of unmet expectations, the bigger the disappointment. In the end, a spouse can become restless and seek comfort in another’s arms or seek a fresh start.
What’s most challenging about unrealistic expectations is that they are difficult to self-analyze. To the spouse carrying such expectations, their partner is always the problem.
Ultimately, a constant stream of unmet expectations causes spouses not to appreciate their partner for who they are, increasing the likelihood of divorce down the road.
Straying from marriage causes untold harm to a partner. The spouse who gets cheated on will always feel unsafe, insecure and the pressure can be a heavy burden to carry.
The legal system does recognize marital sexual infidelity as a valid reason for divorce. The chasm created by an unfaithful spouse is often a fatal blow, and many unions are unable to repair the breach.
There Are Varied Reasons to Get a Divorce
A divorce is a complicated and emotionally exerting process that no one willingly decides on. If you’re facing the eventual dissolution of your marriage, it’s worth taking the time to dig into the various reasons to get a divorce to find the least disruptive solution for you.
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